I Win, “Aye Yo Kells” Finds The Strength to Become A Conquerer
The strong Black woman mantra is an anecdote that’s been passed down for generations. The origins of this phrase were supposed to inspire and uplift. However, it’s had adverse reactions because Black women aren’t being cared for or taken care of properly. Malcolm X stated that the Black woman is the least protected and disrespected. Blacks represent 13.4% of the population that’s about 46 million people. With 22% stating that they suffer from mental health in some capacity.
Despite these scary statistics mental illness can be treated, and people go on to live productively. Kelly “Ayo Kells” Jamison exemplifies bouncing back with grace. Jamison has experienced homelessness, domestic abuse, and depression. These occurrences were a domino effect because of her loved ones' actions. She found out that she was adopted in her teens, and it was by the grace of God.
Jamison was adopted by a great family; however, it was painfully obvious why her mother put her up for adoption. To no fault of her own, her birth mother hadn’t resolved certain issues. The conflict between the two led her to hook up with someone who had ill intentions. Jamison found herself in a situation that she would’ve never dreamt of in a million years. An abusive boyfriend who berated her at any given minute. This was a traumatizing and humbling experience for her. Jamison knew that this wasn’t healthy by any means. Her earlier experiences illustrated healthy interactions between the opposite sex.
These are issues that aren’t foreign to our community. We all know an aunt, sister, cousin, relative, or friend who’s suffered from one of the three in some capacity.
Too many times we shout at the top of our lungs that what goes on in our house stays in our house. This is toxic behavior that must be unlearned so the next generation of brown girls behind us are equipped with better coping mechanisms. Even though Jamison had the wherewithal to persevere, what about the chocolate girls who couldn’t?
When we feel despair it’s because it’s nothing to look forward to. Or the feeling of emptiness and loneliness that normally push people over the edge. That’s why it’s imperative to be transparent. Jamison could’ve kept her struggles to herself. Instead, she chose to inspire and uplift her fellow sister to show that anything is possible. If you want it bad enough, the most important thing is choosing yourself.
October 10 is World Mental Health Awareness Day, it’s ironic that this day is in tandem with Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Jamison’s story is about overcoming the odds when everything is against you. For many women of color, it’s hard to reach out to family or friends which is ok but there are other avenues I implore you to use in regard to seeking help.
Check your health insurance to see what options you have regarding mental health. Some therapists take insurance, and some are cash only. Others do a reimbursement process where you pay upfront and get your money from the insurance company. Therapy for black girls is another source to use as well. For DV victims there are abuse shelters that you can stay at if you need to start over. For my area, the local shelter is called The Spring, and to find a shelter near you call The Hotline. These two resources alone are a great source to start.
To keep up Kelly “Aye Yo Kells” Jamison follow her on all platforms or check out her website thejamisonagency.com. She’s become a millionaire publicist to the stars, helping everyone elevate their brands!
Confessions of The Childless Black Woman
Being a Black woman is stressful because we're inundated with images of what perfection looks like. We're constantly having our existence questioned despite being trendsetters in every capacity. Our emotional well-being has been shaken to its core. However, we're combating the negative tropes with grace. There was a scene in the new show " Bel-Air" that inspired this piece. Honestly speaking, it attests to how single women feel.
We're told how to dress, act, and carry ourselves to become a wife or suitable mate. No one prepares you for when things don't work out. There was a scene with Will's mother explaining the demise of the relationship with his father. This was extremely painful to watch because it's become a reality for too many women. Broken homes and the child is asking questions that we don't have the answer to. Yes, there has to be accountability on both sides for the demise of a relationship. However, it shouldn't be so ugly or toxic that either party wants nothing to do with the other.
It's painful to see because this child is looking for answers. It's commendable that she never bad-mouthed his father while he was growing up. Which is something that isn't highlighted by single parents. Only bitterness is showcased in our community which is sad to see. This brings me to my point on interactions with the opposite sex.
This is something that's not verbalized while dating, people's true fear of dissolution of relationships. Speaking for myself, I don't ever want to cause this type of pain to my child if I can help it. I was raised in a two-parent household, and it makes a difference in the upbringing having both parents in the home. Especially if it's a healthy marriage. I can honestly say I witnessed genuine love and stability. Therefore, I feel like I owe myself and my potential child the same. Children don't ask to be here, the least we can do is be healthy functioning adults to give them the best shot possible.
Yes, there should be accountability on both sides. This isn't a bashful piece just trying to spark conversation. Why doesn't anyone speak on the ramifications of not playing nicely? Our actions affect others greatly when we don't resolve our conflicts.
It's so many relationship experts telling you how to attract the opposite sex but there's no one promoting healthy relationships. No one wants to do die alone or raise a child alone. This is why I truly feel so many women are choosing to have children later in life because they carry that burden of loneliness and heartache when it can be avoided.
Tupac said it best there is no worst feeling than explaining to a child why their father doesn't love them. Where's the disconnect? How come there are so many damaged parenting relationships. Why is this glamorized?