I Win, “Aye Yo Kells” Finds The Strength to Become A Conquerer

The strong Black woman mantra is an anecdote that’s been passed down for generations. The origins of this phrase were supposed to inspire and uplift. However, it’s had adverse reactions because Black women aren’t being cared for or taken care of properly. Malcolm X stated that the Black woman is the least protected and disrespected. Blacks represent 13.4% of the population that’s about 46 million people. With 22% stating that they suffer from mental health in some capacity.

Despite these scary statistics mental illness can be treated, and people go on to live productively. Kelly “Ayo Kells” Jamison exemplifies bouncing back with grace. Jamison has experienced homelessness, domestic abuse, and depression. These occurrences were a domino effect because of her loved ones' actions. She found out that she was adopted in her teens, and it was by the grace of God.

Jamison was adopted by a great family; however, it was painfully obvious why her mother put her up for adoption. To no fault of her own, her birth mother hadn’t resolved certain issues. The conflict between the two led her to hook up with someone who had ill intentions. Jamison found herself in a situation that she would’ve never dreamt of in a million years. An abusive boyfriend who berated her at any given minute. This was a traumatizing and humbling experience for her. Jamison knew that this wasn’t healthy by any means. Her earlier experiences illustrated healthy interactions between the opposite sex.

These are issues that aren’t foreign to our community. We all know an aunt, sister, cousin, relative, or friend who’s suffered from one of the three in some capacity.

Too many times we shout at the top of our lungs that what goes on in our house stays in our house. This is toxic behavior that must be unlearned so the next generation of brown girls behind us are equipped with better coping mechanisms. Even though Jamison had the wherewithal to persevere, what about the chocolate girls who couldn’t?

When we feel despair it’s because it’s nothing to look forward to. Or the feeling of emptiness and loneliness that normally push people over the edge. That’s why it’s imperative to be transparent. Jamison could’ve kept her struggles to herself. Instead, she chose to inspire and uplift her fellow sister to show that anything is possible. If you want it bad enough, the most important thing is choosing yourself.

October 10 is World Mental Health Awareness Day, it’s ironic that this day is in tandem with Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Jamison’s story is about overcoming the odds when everything is against you. For many women of color, it’s hard to reach out to family or friends which is ok but there are other avenues I implore you to use in regard to seeking help.

Check your health insurance to see what options you have regarding mental health. Some therapists take insurance, and some are cash only. Others do a reimbursement process where you pay upfront and get your money from the insurance company.  Therapy for black girls is another source to use as well. For DV victims there are abuse shelters that you can stay at if you need to start over. For my area, the local shelter is called The Spring, and to find a shelter near you call The Hotline.  These two resources alone are a great source to start.

 To keep up Kelly “Aye Yo Kells” Jamison follow her on all platforms or check out her website thejamisonagency.com. She’s become a millionaire publicist to the stars, helping everyone elevate their brands!

A High-Value Woman Who Chose Peace

Podcasting has become a new way for media personalities to appear more personable to their audiences. In addition to having more creative freedom with their word choices and content. Now, there’s an influx of novices who have made their mark as well with content that’s just as good or greater than their predecessors. Derrick Jaxn, Tony Gaskins, Stephan Labossiere, and the infamous Kevin Samuels. Whether you love or hate these gentlemen they’ve made an impact and changed our view on the opposite sex.

Samuels was brash to some and a breath of fresh air to others. The way he was able to articulate his stern viewpoints with conviction just made people feel uncomfortable. If you’re a strong-minded person who’s not easily intimated. You’re often viewed as an asshole by many which is weird. Everyone should be able to have a difference of opinion without there being any arguments.  You can’t ask someone a question then get mad at their response. That’s asinine how are we going to evolve as people if we all think the same? We can’t change what we don’t confront.

Samuels taught us some key phrases which are going to be in our arsenal for quite some time. High-value men or high value have become a part of our everyday conversation. It’s even become something to aspire to or a way to distinguish ourselves from others. Christina Hurt was able to build a rapport with Samuel, unlike other guests who call in. She was able to articulate her views without it being a battle of the sexes.

If you paid attention to the interaction between Hurt and Samuels, Hurt never blamed anyone for the demise of their relationship. She took ownership of the failure in the relationship. Which is something that Samuels harps on quite a bit. Samuels has stated plenty of times that relationships should be about bringing your partner peace, stability, and joy.

Hurt even divulged that there were certain dating habits she wanted to break. So, she sought out a therapist to learn why she is doing certain behaviors. This is commendable for a myriad of reasons; how can you be a great partner if you’re still battling trauma? Hurt took accountability for herself which is something Samuels lamented on quite a bit. Hurt admitted that her communication skills could use polishing. She acknowledged that being oblivious to certain situations or brushing off feelings rubbed previous partners the wrong way. Hurt stated that the men in her past weren’t used to dating someone like her so it was contention. If she and her partner had a disagreement gifts or money were the ways her previous suitors tried to resolve conflict. In their eyes, they’ll think everything is ok when in actuality Hurt was still pissed at the previous situation. Other men in Hurt’s life along with Samuels have stated that discourse is a major turn-off. Women should be able to voice their dissatisfaction without nagging or being condescending.

Hurts is an established woman who’s waiting on her Boaz. Is it too much to want what every woman desires? Hurt has something that some women are aspiring to and never had financial independence. Yet, her dating life mirrors regular women who aren’t as privileged as her. Which is alarming and disheartening at the same time. Hurt is considered a high-value woman who’s young and pretty. Why are successful women like Hurt viewed as intimidating or difficult when all they want is your respect?

Confessions of The Childless Black Woman

Being a Black woman is stressful because we're inundated with images of what perfection looks like. We're constantly having our existence questioned despite being trendsetters in every capacity. Our emotional well-being has been shaken to its core. However, we're combating the negative tropes with grace. There was a scene in the new show " Bel-Air" that inspired this piece. Honestly speaking, it attests to how single women feel. 

We're told how to dress, act, and carry ourselves to become a wife or suitable mate. No one prepares you for when things don't work out. There was a scene with Will's mother explaining the demise of the relationship with his father. This was extremely painful to watch because it's become a reality for too many women. Broken homes and the child is asking questions that we don't have the answer to. Yes, there has to be accountability on both sides for the demise of a relationship. However, it shouldn't be so ugly or toxic that either party wants nothing to do with the other. 

 It's painful to see because this child is looking for answers. It's commendable that she never bad-mouthed his father while he was growing up. Which is something that isn't highlighted by single parents. Only bitterness is showcased in our community which is sad to see. This brings me to my point on interactions with the opposite sex. 

This is something that's not verbalized while dating, people's true fear of dissolution of relationships. Speaking for myself, I don't ever want to cause this type of pain to my child if I can help it. I was raised in a two-parent household, and it makes a difference in the upbringing having both parents in the home. Especially if it's a healthy marriage. I can honestly say I witnessed genuine love and stability. Therefore, I feel like I owe myself and my potential child the same. Children don't ask to be here, the least we can do is be healthy functioning adults to give them the best shot possible. 

Yes, there should be accountability on both sides. This isn't a bashful piece just trying to spark conversation. Why doesn't anyone speak on the ramifications of not playing nicely? Our actions affect others greatly when we don't resolve our conflicts.

It's so many relationship experts telling you how to attract the opposite sex but there's no one promoting healthy relationships. No one wants to do die alone or raise a child alone. This is why I truly feel so many women are choosing to have children later in life because they carry that burden of loneliness and heartache when it can be avoided.

Tupac said it best there is no worst feeling than explaining to a child why their father doesn't love them. Where's the disconnect? How come there are so many damaged parenting relationships. Why is this glamorized?

The Types of Men to AVOID

When you’re searching for that special someone, the dating game can be a struggle. But it’s not as difficult as you might think to avoid disasters and faux pas. The trick is to be smart about your choices and to be aware of who you are dealing with at all times. 

For women, there are unwritten rules for how to steer clear of men that are not deserving of your time and heartache. They are usually deceptively-packaged – pretending to be somebody else every step of the dating game to wrap you around their fingers. No, we don’t think that all men are dogs, but most men have an alternative agenda to get what they want from you, so protect your goods―mind, body, and soul―at all times and learn how to weed out the bad fish in the pool full of good men. 

To help you on your way, we have compiled a list of the 5 men to stay away from when entering the dating game:

The bragger

“I have____.” “I make____ amount of money.” I…I….I. Stay away from men who talk too highly of themselves. It’s cool to have things and to be successful, but it’s rude to think that all women are impressed by the things a man has and just want to hear about that topic. We’ve got our own, thank you!

Self-centered

Stay away from the man who always talks about himself and puts no effort into getting to know you and your interests. It’s fine to be proud of yourself, but it’s overwhelming when one person is always the topic of discussion.

The man without a plan

Although this is an on-going debate, I do think if a man asks you out on a date he should make the plans. There should be no discussions that start from scratch, with the words “what do you want to do?” Be creative. If a man is really unsure, he can never go wrong with dinner. So don’t let a man flop when planning the date. It’s his job to be prepared.

The charmer

He is a troublemaker. Stay away from the man who exudes lust, who captures your interest physically before mentally. Although sexual chemistry is great, it’s always better in the long run to connect on a deeper level first.

Always busy
The man who’s always busy is probably never really busy, just too busy for you. Never let a man cancel on you unless he has a really good reason.

Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming A Mother

It takes a village to raise a child. 

No, seriously. I cannot tell you how true this statement is. Unfortunately, for many new moms, the village may not be easily accessible. Over the years, families have migrated across the country so you may not have relatives near after you give birth or you may be entering motherhood without a life partner. If either of these sound like your circumstances, then you’ll have to find a village. Some of this will happen naturally. You may have friends that become an integral part of your child’s life. Or you may make new mommy friends. Either way, find your tribe. You’ll need one. Not only for the sake of enhancing your child’s life but for your happiness and sanity as well. 

 Motherhood can be extremely isolating. 

Becoming a mother is a life changing event. As such, your relationships will shift. You may even lose some friends. But it’s par for the course. You are literally shedding an old life and stepping into a new one. Like they say, people come into your life for reasons and seasons. You’ll start to notice that those whose season is up in your life will gradually fade into the background. There will be times when you feel alone. But you are not alone. You will start to bond more closely with women who can understand and identify with your new journey. 

 Mom guilt is inevitable. 

Whether you stay at home. Work from home. Or work outside of home, you will experience mom guilt. No mother is immune to it. It strikes at the most peculiar times. You could feel it after you’ve spent a small fortune on your child but see a dress that you’d like to buy for yourself. It doesn’t matter if the dress is only $20. You will guilt yourself into thinking that your child needs that $20 for another toy or something of the sort. You will think to yourself “how dare I even consider buying something for myself”. But let me tell you, SAY EFF THE GUILT AND BUY THE DRESS. Remind yourself when you feel like this that you’ve been doing everything possible to make sure your little one is taken care of, so you DESERVE the dress. Call it a form of self-care. 

Breastfeeding is a marathon, not a sprint. 

Nobody and I mean nobody at all prepared me for the challenges I would face in my breastfeeding journey. I somehow thought it would be easy since everyone seems to do it. But it wasn’t for me. I gave birth to my twins and instantly ran into issue when I realized both were tongue tied and one was also lip tied. It was painful and frustrating. I didn’t feel like I was producing enough milk for both of them and I had no one to ask questions or to at least encourage me. Knowing what a I know now, I’ll say…hire a lactation consultant. Ask all the questions. Seek help when necessary. Join mommy groups to get recommendations on the best pumps. Have the lactation consultant teach you how to hand express. I was green. Very. You don’t have to be. 

 F*ck snapping back. 

Do yourself a favor, beloved. Ignore the societal pressure to “snap back” immediately after giving birth. You just grew and birthed a whole human being. Or if you are like me, two! I know, I know your fave celebs have done it and blah blah blah. Let me tell you something. Your fave celebs are lying. Your fave celebs either had surgery or damn near killed themselves in the gym and practically starved themselves all for the glory of posting a snap back pic on IG. Don’t be that girl. Queen Muva, Beyoncé was over 200 lbs after she gave birth to Rumi and Sir. And guess what she said in ‘Homecoming’? That she pushed herself way too hard trying to lose weight and that she would never do that again. So, don’t worry. Be yonce and give yourself some grace. The weight will come off in due time. For now, focus on adjusting to your new journey and loving on your baby. Believe me, there will be enough to stress about. 

Having a child will make you question all you thought you believed about life. 

I thought I knew for sure what kind of mom I would be before I had children. I thought I knew what my life would look like. I thought a lot of things that quite frankly, make me laugh now. Having children changed my perspective on almost everything. The stakes are higher now, mama. And with higher stakes come a new abundance of caution, a new purpose, and more surprises than you can dream of. So, be open to changing your mind, learning and unlearning things, and evolving past what you previously believed was possible.

 You will have to fight to not lose yourself. 

Motherhood takes so much time and energy that especially during the fourth trimester, that you’ll likely find yourself feeling disconnected from the woman you were pre-motherhood. Let me first tell you, this is normal. But it’s not impossible to get back to her. Start by doing the small things like engaging in a hobby you enjoyed before becoming a mother at least once bi-weekly. Get your hair done or take time out to get your nails done. Work on a passion project. Even if it’s only an hour a week. 

 You will at some point be the mom with the child who is throwing a tantrum in public. 

Listen, I know you think you and your child will be exempt from this. But you won’t be. At some point, your cute adorable baby will turn into the Earth’s most terrifying creature…a toddler. And with their new sense of independence and curiosity for…well, everything. Your toddler will undoubtedly push every limit that you have. So, now is the time to maybe order some patience on Amazon. Preferably in bulk. You’re going to need it. 

An open letter to once loving couples - turned baby fathers and baby mothers

This is an open letter to the couples teetering somewhere in between salvaging a happy home, co-parenting, and giving it all up for the ever-coveted 'baby mother' and 'baby father' statuses. 

You weren't planning for it, but you also couldn't ignore the life you participated in creating.  You had history together so you thought, "we might not be ready but we can do this - we're a unit."  Now the chips have all landed, and you see where you're both standing.  Your hopes and dreams have seemingly faded from your immediate focus, your essence no longer radiates from your being, and the love you once shared for each other is but a fleeting memory.  

You are this close to giving up on your situation because of the pressure that has formed, now that you no longer can live in the selfish ways, we all once knew.  This pressure can make the sensible irrational; it can make you project your shortcomings on to your partner; and influence you to confuse feelings with facts. We’ve successfully over-complicated so many elements of how we understand and assess our 'situations,' that we seem to overlook the difference between ‘simplicity’ and ‘ease.'  The easy may be simple, but the simple may never come with ease.  No, not every relationship that produces a child should be pursued or preserved, but if there is a chance that working as a unit results in a more positive outcome for the family- push through dammit.

So many of us 20- somethings are walking away from situations because they are just that- 'situations,' full of uncertainty with no mutual expectation set for the future.

You quickly realized since embarking on this journey called parenthood, that building a family is not easy.  You've probably felt (one time or another) as though there are so many 'other options' when it comes to the family structure, based on the distractions all around us.  I am here to encourage you to always remember that the child born to un-betrothed parents is deserving of the same fight that many married couples put into keeping their families together.  Sometimes directing less attention to the romantic relationship, will allow you both to refocus on what matters most to you both.  Without putting forth your best effort you'll only never know the outcome unless you genuinely TRY.   Whether that family structure means coming to amicable co-parenting terms, throwing your hats back in the ring for another chance at preserving a cohesive family unit, or going separate ways all together- creating the best environment for your child(ren) is paramount.  

The purpose of this letter is to encourage you all to "stay in the saddle."  Be true to yourself and honest with your partner.  Quit resisting the change that parenthood forced upon you, and channel those emotions into a force that only fights for the success of your family.  Never forget the toxicity that uncertainty and pressure can create. Stay strong, explore your options, ignore your pride, acknowledge your progress, find ways to preserve who you are as an individual,  and most importantly protect your universe by being conscious of the energy that you allow to come in contact with this facet of your life.  

Much love, 

C. Hood

Co-parenting and Tech Solutions

The course of events that lead two parents to a “co-parenting” environment or arrangement is unique to the individuals involved. We’ve all heard the first and second-hand accounts of one parent being more active than another, over things that are in the grand scheme very basic in nature i.e. scheduled care coverage, school pick-up/drop-off, planned events with friends/ family. We talked to 10 different co-parenting moms and dads to get smart around the simple tasks that end up being the most frustrating moments. We were able to boil it down to the 5 most important criteria for co-parenting parents: 

Fluid & Consistent Communication- This concept of fluid consistent communication weaves itself through the remaining four areas of focus - for good reasons. If you can literally communicate with Uber to schedule a ride in advance, but somehow have trouble with keeping the communication with your partner there's a serious disconnect.  Perhaps there is reluctance based on the history of the relationship (or lack thereof for that matter), and sometimes the best and only thing to do is to set some ground rules on how you both plan to make communication consistent and clear. 

Accountability & Responsibility

Setting best practices with respect to accountability, is especially crucial in setting the arrangement up to be successful.  Having an open honest conversation about what can be easily achieved vs. what is feasible but would require shifting on either end is essential. Points of contention around this subject were really interesting, because this group of moms and dads found that they were more aggravated when any piece of previously agreed responsibility changed at the last minute.  Being mindful of those shifts is key to building or rebuilding trust between your co-parenting partner.

Flexibility

This one deliberately follows accountability, because in most cases this side of the coin is most frequently abused.  Unfortunately, there are some who find themselves in situations with zero flexibility which can be almost as difficult as someone abusing that flexibility.  Being rigid and unwavering out of spite is no good for anyone involved.  Conversely, being open to covering for your co-parenting partner when possible is important and might allow you to cash in on the same benefit when absolutely needed.  

Remember who you're doing it for!

The last and most important of these criteria - is to remember the importance of creating a loving and safe space for your child/children.  Childhood experiences have the power the determine the trajectory for our future selves, so being present in how you handle your co-parenting situation can drastically change how your child perceives the entire family dynamic, ultimately reinforcing the positive behaviors you'd hope for them to emulate.

Don't be afraid to start the conversation with your co-parenting partner about what you both can improve upon and how these tools can help! 

The 5 Benefits of Celibacy that can Result in a Better You

When your brain isn’t consumed with thoughts of sex it has the potential to open itself up to a number of ideas, beliefs, and principles that have been kept on the back-burner, including who you want to be intimate with.

Of course, there are a number of reasons why a person becomes celibate in the first place: 

·      It is part of a spiritual or religious journey; 

·      They were burned from previous unsuccessful relationships;

·      Casual sex is no longer as enticing; and/or 

·      Dating someone simply for the pure enjoyment of their company, with little sexual appetite.

Whether you’re 10 months, 10 weeks, or 10 days celibate, you’ll find that your sexual energy can be channeled into a number of other more productive, and possibly even life-changing habits. 

During 1:1 conversations with males and females between the ages of 24-32, I gathered some of the commonly-expressed positive benefits for those who are considering celibacy. These include increased creativity and productivity, learning/relearning habits, and the opportunity to cultivate more meaningful relationships. Through group discussions, we unpacked our experiences around the residual effects that sex had in our lives.

SB: Always do what’s best for you, and remember celibacy is a choice.

Get your creative juices flowing (no pun intended) – 
Researchers suggest that petting an animal, soaking in a warm bathtub, and/or doing yoga are all physical activities that are proven to raise your levels of oxytocin – the same hormone that is released during sexual activity. In the spirit of getting creative, celibacy also quickly forces you to find other ways of being romantic and intimate with your partner.

Focus on relearning who you are – 
We all have that single friend – male or female – who is salty about a relationship that didn’t go the way s/he wanted following an intimate encounter. We’ve all listened to their gripes with the hope that our friend will one day realize that they could easily change their situation by being more selective (unless, of course, you are that friend). 

Despite thinking you can, not everyone can engage in casual sex without suffering negative after-effects. Sometimes being more exclusive is being true to who you are – so be that and don’t apologize for it.

“Oftentimes we get stuck in situations for sexual needs and neglect our values and how we look at ourselves.”

Be more productive – 
In the Global North, we are overstimulated with imagery and constant messaging. Sex is literally everywhere, which can make it a powerful and appealing distraction. Remember that thing you’ve been wanting to do but you just haven’t found the time? Well, now that you’re celibate, you have all the time you need. Go crazy!

Protect your peace –

 There was a survey disseminated by researchers to men and women aged 22-35, who self-admitted to being comfortable engaging in casual sex with no more than 2 different partners in the same time-span. Those who completed the survey indicated that they generally spent considerable amounts of time talking and thinking about their respective partner when they were sexually intimate. Alternatively, the amount of time dedicated to thinking about those partners who they were not sexually active with was significantly lower. Being aware of your thinking patterns often increases the likelihood of being intentional with how your time is spent. In turn, this could result in a reduction of the swarming thoughts in our heads that often feed the anxiety that so many of us battle with.

Develop more meaningful relationships –
When you have the opportunity to trade intimate time for more meaningful moments, you might discover things about yourself and your values. Above all, you can reevaluate how you’ve viewed sex in the past, how you see it as a beautiful aspect of your future, and what selecting a partner looks like without the added pressure of sex.

The 5 Questions to Ask Prior to Committing to a Relationship

Before getting into a relationship it is helpful to learn as much as possible about the other person – the good and the bad. Although many people see relationships as a lot of work, things can go much more smoothly when the couple is open and honest about everything from the beginning. Although there are no guarantees against heartbreak, you can minimize the stress and uncertainty by walking into a relationship head-on.

PYNK has outlined some of the most important things that you should know about your soon-to-be significant other. Read on to learn the 5 valuable questions that you should ask someone before settling down.

1.     What are your goals and career aspirations?

Although you don’t have to share the same hobbies, skills, or values, you should at least be on a similar path. If you are working towards career success and value professionalism, your significant other should too. After all, it takes two to tango and when someone lags behind, it causes the other person to suffer in the relationship as well.

2.     Are you looking for long-term commitment?

Relationships should be taken seriously, so it’s important that the person you are settling down with is willing to stick it out with you. Make it clear that this isn’t a fling and that you are trying to create a foundation for a lasting union.

3.     Why did your past relationship fail?

Although a lot of people think that asking about prior relationships is a big no-no for new love, it’s important to know the core reasons for the break-up. There’s no need to go over the body count or gory details – just hash out the basics. This will avoid any skeletons coming out of the closet in the future and can help you to navigate potentially awkward ex-encounters.

4.     What are your views on spirituality and religion?

Religion and spirituality are a cornerstone of most people’s lives. You can never truly be in sync with someone who doesn’t have the same spiritual mindset as you. Of course, it’s okay to disagree, but you still need to have the conversation as to whether your differences are tolerable.

5.     Learn about their morals and character.

This isn’t a question but rather more of an opportunity for you to observe the type of person you are dating. Morals and values shape our ideas, attitudes, and beliefs about the world around us and define our personalities. For that reason, it’s important to know exactly who you are dealing with before things get too deep.

Why Millennials Are Having Trouble Connecting to Religion

By: Sade Graham

The grandiose life and mind of a Millennial is one to admire.  

We are big dreamers, ambitiously bold, creative groundbreakers, adventure-seeking free thinkers, fast-tracked- moving way ahead of our time.  The most technologically advanced, educated, surpassingly health conscientious with a larger, much diverse community of financially savvy income generators, so well equipped with research and information at our fingertips.  We are immensely blessed and unbeknownst to us, very much catered to.  Granted bigger voices, bigger platforms, leaving much impressions, we have extended reach and greater influence, power.

But with any position of power, comes the conceivable certainty of corruption – that is an evidential truth, there is historical proof. Delusions of grandeur.  Like the case of a certain political leader who referred to himself as “God” after taking office, overthrowing all previous legislation, ruining his country through totalitarian rule.  That story is incessant and a continual threat to the world today, especially in the hands of those who aren’t rooted in good soil - those who lack good character.

As Millennials, we are the heartbeat to keep things going in a certain direction, it can be dangerous to break away from our initial core.  While an impressive influx of progression is recompensed by Millennials, there is a gap that is surging due to a certain attitude, a whole lot of ‘things that Millennials just don’t do’. 

The vast majority don’t cook, we don’t do big families, and no nine-to-fives; we loathe commitment – as far as certain things i.e. Cable TV, for many - marriage, car payments, and a growing conversation, religiosity.  Millennials don’t do religion.

In the US, religious affiliation has been on a decline for years, transcending beyond the surrounding waters - that number highly driven by Millennials. With our loud voices screaming game rebellion lyrics and setting new trends of our own, more and more American’s have distanced themselves from the religious doctrine of which this country was founded that is Christianity.  We are no longer ‘One Nation Under God’ – instead, we have number of gods to choose from, divided on our original foundation.  And yes, there is much to say about how religion might have been used to manipulate in negative ways; but wait a minute, there is also much to say to the absence of it and why Millennials are looking the other way. 

Millennials don’t have time for Religion.  We are way too busy doing everything other than.  Traveling is cool, getting money is a must, growing your brand is great; enjoying time with family & friends, all that is necessary to a filled life, but how exactly are we making time to refresh & restore one’s self?  People generally equate this with quiet time, devotion, meditation, self-evaluation, reflection – all of which are constants to religion.  An excellent quality of life requires this.  

And with even less time to attend church, there is the mindset of some that ‘God doesn’t act fast enough’ leading many to seek a particular satisfaction or fulfillment elsewhere, even if through the most defiling means; those things our parents use to shield us from are now the channels of which a multitude are apt to prematurely expose.  The priorities that have created the pace of today’s normal is drastically different from what was before us.  As time goes, might you see what the inexistence of religion would pose?

Religion has too many rules. Millennials take great pleasure and recognition for breaking all the rules, we don’t like them.  To us, religion constitutes for plenty limitations, but is it not due to some daily intake of instruction that we are cultivated into the winners we hope to be? Without assistance, we are like the blind, walking aimlessly.  It takes some set of rules that we are to abide in order for an expected outcome to transpire as the foundation of which we are brought up generally sets the tone in how we prioritize, and rationalize.  Not knowing better leads to a myriad of mistakes; mistakes that give way to a more strenuous constraint.  Consider the state of the society of which we live in where jails are stocked up by the day – whether guilty or innocent, the only way out of that instance is through religion.  

True religion is a love language of correction, it should be one to contemplate.

Millennials want to call all the shots.  As a Millennial, I can totally attest to this.  But leaders are made, they are not born.  The whole working a nine-to-five thing, making someone else rich and wealthy isn’t remotely attractive than running my own ship, but the fundamental of a good leader is to first serve.  You cannot be a master before putting in that good work.  It takes skill, experience, and listening; it takes religion.

Millennials thrive and gloat on hate & shade – that’s not religion, it’s quite the opposite.  Apparently, it’s no longer God who gets us through the day.  With the ingest of social media memes, a selection of grotesque molds of demonstration, gossip & shade is the new medium for meaningful discussion, invaluable counsel, and destination entertainment.  Most religion speaks on loving one another as we love ourselves, the word encourages us to celebrate eachother – but looking at how we continue to hurt each other through inflammatory methods of condemnation, I can see how religion and a Millennial might opt or veer off for separation.

And of course, let us not neglect to mention all those conflicting views that Religion is said to oppose.Millennials being the most open generation to date, social topics like homosexuality, inequality, questions like ‘what is sin?’, ‘who is God?’ can have a person throw away the whole thing.  Setting kinfolk against kinfolk, used as a tool to rebuke, designs of distraction, vehicles to diabolically infiltrate & confuse.  When the essential purpose of religion is to bring together through love & faith, to me, these social issues should not be the reason to come against it, but to incite more inquisition.  For lack of knowledge, my people perish.  There is such a huge misunderstanding, but if you dig a little deeper, religion explains all of it.  

Religion is the basis to established order, where every system is inherited.  However, it is through the timeless principles such as righteousness & justice, obedience, security, service, checks & balances, down to equality & freedom that the detestable veracities of those with authority tend to raise up, further revealing why Millennials are having trouble connecting to religion.  Induced by society since the beginning of days, the implications of ‘abuse of power’ is what weakens the divine infrastructure of religion, therefore encouraging some type of new world order.  And we Millennials have enlisted.

Born into a life thanks to some fashion of tradition, inheritance, custom, ritual, and lest we not forget ethics.  It is through ethics, a set standard, value, if even through the womb of the worst circumstance, Millennials continue to come to as supplications of the past sanction for new blessings.  We are opulent thanks to religion.  To go against the grain is cool until we start forgetting how to tie our shoes.  It’s not always considered evolution; it can totally be an explicit expression of defiance too.  Attached to us from birth, unrelenting, passed down like bad genes - the act of defiance has long been our iniquity – if there was ever a blemish to cosmetically or prayerfully remove.  

So, if you’re not following a religion, then what or who are you following?  Because let’s be clear, we all are following some suit and you should know what that is, as there is an absolute imbalance with thinking you can be ‘a little bit of everything’.  Every great force draws from a particular source – what is yours?